If it were possible for something to be both more SAFE and more INTIMATE wouldn’t you choose it also?  That is what Generation Next (or Generation Text) thinks about text messaging; it is both more SAFE and more INTIMATE!

When receiving a text message they are free to react in any way they deem appropriate.  Since they are out of sight and sound of the sender they can react as profusely or strongly as they like whether it be hysterically, violently, profanely or more likely; violently hysterical and/or profusely profane!!  And, they can respond honestly for the same reason.  The receiver is out of sight and sound.

Also, they TEXT in a way that relies on codes and abbreviations that are an expression of shared experiences; a crude language that is known only by those “in the circle.”

As a result, they tend to feel SAFE and therefore have more honest and INTIMATE conversations.

Don’t take my word for it--  read about the Social and Psychological Effects of Texting (Okay, we are sending you away for some knowledge; but don't forget to come back for some more nurturing!)

The question is… Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

The answer is:  It is a thing!

Last month I wrote briefly about television having an influence on Cultural Trends.  This has always been the case—until this generation.  Television can’t keep up with this generation!!

We’ve all seen the commercials where the adult and the adolescent children appear to be arguing but are actually agreeing; “I raised you to talk to me that way!”  It took several times before most of us recognized this as satire.  Other commercials use the TEXTER language out loud with TALKER language in subtitle.  These commercials are fantastic!  If not Gr8!  My personal “fave” is the one where grandma says she is talking to her; “bff Jill!”

But guess what?  The commercials are already outdated.  Generation Next does not use these abbreviations anymore!  Yeah, they use some of them because they are classics… but for the most part they have outgrown them.  Why?  Because YOU and ME have figured out what most of these abbreviations mean and their language has lost some of its INTIMACY.  Also, because it is easier!

Most cell phones have a “WORD” setting that allows for intuitive TEXT messaging by typing words using the number pad letter by letter and IT figures out what word you are typing.  So… it is faster for these kids to TEXT using full words than it is to abbreviate.

The one flaw with “WORD” is that IT will occasionally provide the wrong word and in this fast paced multi-tasking world the SENDER won’t notice (example: when TEXTing  “GAME”  IT provides  “HAND”—get out your phone and experiment before I lose you here!!).   But the Next Generation RECEIVER is undaunted and simply substitutes the word that makes more sense. 

Trust me here; this is an evolving language!  For schizzle my nizzle!

As a GENERATION spanning example of this let’s look at what happened last week when Navy beat Notre Dame 46 to 44 in triple OT to end a 43-year losing streak.  My son and I both realized that when TEXTING “Notre Dame” IT produced “Mouse Fame” on my cell phone.  We joked about it; “they played like a bunch of mice” and “I can see Rockne now…are you a man or a mouse?”  Then drew parallels… Famous Mouse equals Mickey Mouse… Notre Dame equals Disney Land… ND stands for North Disney… and a Naval Cadet became a Mouse Killer.  This is just my son and I goofing around but this scenario is a shared experience, a TEXT version of a “wink and a nod” that is an expression of our relationship; it is INTIMATE!  Similar to how somewhere in the mid-1990’s FAT (or PHAT) became attractive and BAD became GOOD! 

Okay, so this sounds crazy!?  Not really… way back in 1991 there was a “Star Trek:  The Next Generation” episode entitled “Darmok” where the entire Enterprise Fleet would be destroyed (I know, this was the common plot of all episodes) unless they were able to learn the language of the Tamarians and save the day for all of humanity!! 

The Tamarian language was based on “intense shared experiences” where they would use metaphors from the past to communicate lessons about the present.  For a better understanding click here to get a link about this particular episode (and more! learn which now-famous actress made her acting debut as Ensign Robin Lefler in this episode; then email me the answer to win a T-shirt.)

So what have we learned?  Like speaking to Tamarians… or our own Next Generation… we should keep it REAL:

     Rely on shared experiences (such as team building with physical components— i.e. moving office furniture; working late to meet a deadline) are extremely valuable;

     Establish code words (a Language) that are unique to your team

     Avoid face-to-face confrontation (“in your face” as THEY say) when providing simple redirection.  “Use Email or TEXT unless the issue is complex.

     Look for opportunities to allow self expression (and reaction to information) in a safe environment.

Keeping it REAL is the best way to build INTIMATE relationships with your team!