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I was in line at Walmart and witnessed a Christmas Miracle:

In front of me was a rough-looking kid wearing an over-sized leather jacket and baggy pants; he had a “doo-rag” on his head and iPod ear pieces in his ears– you know the type.  In front of my doo-rag wearing friend was a little old lady wearing a doo-rag of her own.  A woman I would estimate to be in her early 70’s wearing a shower cap over some hair curlers– you know the type…  

I couldn’t hear all that was going on but I gathered that she was late in preparing to have her family over for dinner; that she would never be caught dead in public like this but she needed some last minute things; on and on.  The guy in front of me and directly behind her, heard none of this; but I could hear the thumping of his rap music leaking out and around his doo-rag.

Using my past experiences and preconceptions I was able to conclude both what was happening in front of the line with the little-old lady AND what was going on with my gang-banger friend directly in front of me in line.

This is when the problems started.  That 70’s-something lady in front did not have cash with her and had only her checkbook; no wallet, no identification.  The young pierced and tattooed, gum-chewing gal at the register (you know the type…) would not take her check without proper ID.  I was late for an appointment and was growing impatient (you know the type….) and the doo-rag guy in front of me was oblivious as he be-bopped along rhythmically slapping his thighs and “rubber-necking” his head and shoulders.

Before I could even think or react it happened; there was nothing I could do!

The thug in front of me yanked the ear-plugs from under his doo-rag and in a voice louder than necessary (as though he had been listening to loud music- duhh!) spoke abruptly to the little-old lady in front of him saying, “Lady!”  (I braced myself, ready to react but not knowing how or to what!) “You look honest; write the check out to me.  I got this….”  He then reached deep down into his baggy pants and pulled out his wallet from somewhere below his right knee and paid for that 70’s-something lady’s groceries with cash, and took her personal check.

It is so wonderful to know that no matter how they may look or sometimes act, this next generation (you know the type…); THEY’VE GOT OUR BACK!

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By Cliff Kuhn, M.D.
The Laugh Doctor
“It all starts with a SMILE”   http://www.drcliffordkuhn.com/meet.htm

The holiday season presents us with a strange and unsettling
paradox. While we’re constantly bombarded with images of loving
families enjoying the holidays, more people commit suicide
during this season than at any other time. How do we reconcile
this (and how do we avoid it ourselves)?

I believe some of the depression is caused by the constant
reruns of bad Christmas specials. Do we really need to see
“Rudolph’s Shiny New Year” for the twelfth evening in a row?

Actually I believe those Christmas specials do play a role in
the depression. As do the commercials. And the retail
displays. You see, this is a time when we are overloaded with
images of how we’re “supposed” to feel - iconic images of loving
families gathering to share their common joy.

But, just as Victoria’s Secret models don’t really exist, but
are a creation of Madison Avenue, so too are those holiday
families. Advertisers know we buy more when we are unhappy
(that is a sad fact in the advertising business). It’s called
bait and switch. Advertisers have long employed a simple
formula - make you unhappy, then offer you the solution.

I’m not demonizing advertisers here! Nor blaming anyone for how
I (or anyone else) feels. I’m simply giving you permission to
free yourself from any unrealistic expectations you might be
tempted to place on yourself during these holidays. Everyone’s
family is ripe for uncomfortable moments! Heck, some of us
don’t have any “family” at all!

Take charge of your state of mind during these holidays! When
you see an unrealistic holiday image, smile and tell yourself,
“Good for them; although that’s not how my life looks, I love MY
LIFE thank you!” Use your humor nature and the ensuing
childlike spirit to find your fun wherever you are and on your
terms!

It’ll be the most important gift you receive this holiday!

Lon considered this article to be a gift in and of itself; and he wanted to share it here on his blog!  Thanks to Cifford Kuhn, The Laugh Doctor!

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Lon Kieffer is proud to announce the re-launch and re-vitalization of an old program; 'Defending the Caregiver!" in a new format.  A one-man play, a Dramedy (comedic drama), celebrating, "The Caregiver!"  To learn more visit:  www.DefendingTheCaregiver.com

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Lon Kieffer, author of "Get Out of Bed and Go to Work!", Speaker, Consultant, Expert on Workplace Culture Change and Generational Conflicts, gives seminars, keynote and plenary addresses, runs annual sales meetings, and provides Common Sense Consulting at:  ...

The other day I was speaking with some colleagues who were stressed out and complaining.

They were upset because, despite having overcome some very significant obstacles and performed above and beyond expectations they'd been subjected to a cursory critique about the cleanliness of their workplace by an off-site manager.

"Isn’t it nice to know," one of them said, "that in the end, all that matters is if my desk is clean?" 

Now, apply your inherent perspective to this observation; if your base is sarcasm then this is a negative observation; if you are rooted in optimism this can be an epiphany like awareness that is positive.

The negative person is left with; "no matter what I do the cleanliness of my desk is what matters!"-and they can grow increasingly bitter because they feel unappreciated unless their desk is clean and feel belittled at the thought of gaining appreciation for cleaning a desk rather than doing good deeds. 

The optimistic person is left with; "no matter what I do the cleanliness of my desk is what matters!" - and they can grow increasingly positive knowing that "if I clean my desk everyone is happy and they will leave me alone."

There is a third scenario however, and that is the manipulative personality who quickly learns; "no matter what I do the cleanliness of my desk is what matters!" - and they clean their desk knowing they can get away with unsatisfactory performance so long as their desk remains clean.

The results are in:

The negative (complaining people) will continue to do everything but refuse to clean their desk and become more negative and more complaining.

The optimistic people will continue to do everything AND clean their desk and become more optimistic and more positive.

The manipulative people will continue to do nothing but keep their desk squeaky clean, get promoted and begin to make observations about the cleanliness of your desk.

So, nothing has changed accept a few desks got cleaned and one person got promoted to take the place of...

A friend was moving, and asked if I would help.

I quickly said yes- too quickly as it turned out. By the tenth box of heavy books I’d packed and carried to the front porch, I realized what was wrong.

It wasn’t my aching back or stuffed sinuses; it was the resentment gnawing at me. This move had taken me away from some important family matters, and now I was angry and irritated at myself for having agreed to help.  

What good was my help if it turned my giving in to martyrdom? Why do I sometimes say yes when I want to say no? Wasn’t there some way to strike a balance between my own needs and those of others? (This is a common plight of Caregivers!)

Here are some tips on how to become a "Glad-Caregiver!" 

1. Give yourself time to make the right decision.  My son John (Note: My son's name is Stephen, this Blog is based on an article by Marilyn Morgan Helleberg; credits to follow) is an automotive technician, and when his friends ask him to fix their cars on his days off, I often hear him say, “I need to see what my weekend is like before I say for sure.” John is always generous with his help, but he’s honest about making sure that it fits into his schedule. Now, when someone asks me to take on an extra job, I’ve learned from John to ask first if I can think about it. Before saying yes in the enthusiasm of the moment, I consider my choice.

2. Then “let your yes be yes and your no be no”   A few years ago I was asked to be a chaperone at a youth group’s dance. “Not this month,” I said. “Maybe some other time.” The truth was that loud music always gives me a splitting headache. Even so, trying to soften my no, I’d left the door wide open for them to ask me again. The next time they called I felt I had to do it, no matter the headache. Now I try to make my "no" clear from the start, and then see if I can do something else-say, write the group’s newsletter in the peace and quiet of home.

3. Be specific about when. A couple of months ago a friend needed help steaming off her wallpaper. Gladly I offered to give her a hand “from one o’clock to four.” What a time we had taking off the ugly red roses, candy stripes, the strawberries and then the green-and-yellow plaid. At four o’clock I stopped, so I was fresh enough to volunteer the next day-when we got down to the purple orchids. Being clear about my time commitment, I knew I had time to do other chores.

4. Stay self-centered. I’ve found that when I’m solidly grounded and taking care of myself before trying to care for other's I’m in a better position to make decisions about those things I...

Today, on Wednesday, yes, Humpday, for a myriad of various reasons; not necessarily good reasons but reasons made good necessarily good, I am preparing our extended families’ annual “Day Before Thanksgiving” meal.

Late last night, I returned from travel abroad. 

While I truly love visiting other cultures and environments I must say I feel a familiar comfort once I retur home.

Today, I will simply say, “Happy Thanksgiving!” to all… and a Happy Humpday as well!

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Lon Kieffer is proud to announce the re-launch and re-vitalization of an old program; 'Defending the Caregiver!" in a new format.  A one-man play, a Dramedy (comedic drama), celebrating, "The Caregiver!"  To learn more visit:  www.DefendingTheCaregiver.com

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Lon Kieffer, author of "Get Out of Bed and Go to Work!", Speaker, Consultant, Expert on Workplace Culture Change and Generational Conflicts, gives seminars, keynote and plenary addresses, runs annual sales meetings, and provides Common Sense Consulting at:  www.LonKieffer.com. He can be reached at:  (302) 462-6748 on Facebook or via email at:  This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it

I will never forget the Herm Edwards post-game press conference when, as the coach of New York Jets in the midst of a losing streak, he “went off” on a reporter who asked him if losing mattered anymore.

In a classic Hermism he said, “This is what’s great about sports. This is what the greatest thing about sports is. You play to win the game. Hello? You play to win the game. You don’t play it to just play it. That’s the great thing about sports: you play to win, and I don’t care if you don’t have any wins. You go play to win. When you start tellin’ me it doesn’t matter, then retire. Get out! ‘Cause it matters.” 

This is quite a bit different than my usual Blogs, however, as I sit here on the Eve of the 2009 Girls Field Hockey Delaware State Championship game I am pondering life, family, love, winning, losing, and learning. 

You see, my daughter Taylor is a Junior in High School and is a critical part of one of the teams playing in this team.  And at this stage in her young life, this game is HUGE!

One of the tag lines in my speaking business is; Love, Laugh, and Learn with Lon.

Those are my only goals for tomorrow: Love, Laugh and Learn!

I feel the same way in my career when I see people around me give their blood sweat and tears (literally) to the job and then see themselves judged only by the outcomes; not their efforts.  This especially applies to my Caregivers (join us at:  Defender of Caregivers on Facebook)!

Yes, “you play to win the game!”– but please, Love, Laugh and Learn along the way.

The outcomes are sometimes beyond our control!

But I can not argue with Herm Edwards, because, afterall, “You play to win the game!”

* * *

Lon Kieffer is proud to announce the re-launch and re-vitalization of an old program; 'Defending the Caregiver!" in a new format.  A one-man play, a Dramedy (comedic drama), celebrating, "The Caregiver!"  To learn more visit:  www.DefendingTheCaregiver.com

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Lon Kieffer, author of "Get Out of Bed and Go to Work!", Speaker, Consultant, Expert on Workplace Culture Change and Generational Conflicts, gives seminars, keynote and plenary addresses, runs annual sales meetings, and provides Common Sense Consulting at:  ...

We have all heard the saying, "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach."

Here is a lesson from my own personal observations, "... a lot of women are a lot like men!"

Take it from me, I should know!  You see, I chose a stereo-typically "woman's" career; or so was the thinking when I entered Nursing School in 1980 at the University of Maryland.  Back then there were over 300 students in the program; 7 of us men. 

Two things happened:

1. I learned that women were not as mysterious as I thought; they were much like men.
2. The women decided that if a moron like me could go to Nursing School they were going to  go to Medical School...

So you see, I have been a trend setter my entire life! 

And along the way, I have made some genuinely unique observations, like; "women (while at work or with "just the Girls") think nothing of eating from the same fork." 

...